Depression Tribe

I'm here because i really want to help people with the invisible torture, pain and damage i've been through and Know off by heart more than anything else, and to find people who want to lisen to me.

The main things i want in the world are to finally make REAL friends and find a reason for living and not want to die every day anymore or feel trapped. i want to change the world in some massive way then fall in love.

I can't stand being alone anymore sometimes i feel like im Gods harshest experient and destined to be alone, like it is a curse i was born with. I don't feel like anyone else has the same problem.

Proffesionals have never lisened to me or took me seriously.


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My Recipie:
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First, crack the eggs of eternal unhappiness,
Constantly pouring in a phobia of ageing as it goes along,
Mix in 3 dashes of computer addiction.
Crush in 50 seeds of loneliness and isolation.
Add a ridiculous amount of self consciousness,
A sprinkle of paranoia and desperation,
Three pints of bad luck,
Boil with the packet of anxiety and depression,
Three heaped tablespoons of constant self hatred,
and 3 drops of weakening syrum.
Thicken with the threat of panick attacks, (which make her unable and completely handicapped from doing anything that could save her).
Pour in the whole bottle labelled -'The What's Wrong With Me? Curse'-
Plus some of my special 'unable to speak' formula.
Don't forget all those little health problems as well, not as common as the rest so doctors won't believe her. Unhelpable pain and fear.

Now cook it in an oven, with walls so thick no one can hear her burning. Actually no, an oven on her own, to not know how to grow like other children or make friends. to be different. to be completely and utterly.. impossible from the beginning. but unable to die. *Thus being.. AloneForever. She will realise it eventually, it will be all she can think about, but will slowley realise theres nothing she can do.
but put most of it in an average container. So no one can beilive her, but the things that remain to her can be left deformed.

and finally, the most painful ingredient..

a single drop of hope. To keep her from killing herself from this torture and escaping through the curse the only way.

Let's put her in a family that will abandon her. Give her all the friends that will reject her. So that no matter where she runs to for sanctuary in life, she will always be getting worse. And we will always be here, her guardian angels, her God when she prayers, controlling her and warning everyone she comes into contact with.. to control her and leave her. We will add some other ingredients along the way. We'll come up with better ones don't you worry.

Now lets sit back and experiment and see what happens and how far we can push it. haha.

being really high! (up)
when you find a really inspiring person
ridiculous humour
rain
songs that set you free with their lyrics
a good cleansing talk with someone
thunderstorms
water
the sun

Lamb and mint sauce, macarroni cheese
profitta roles and chocolate eclairs,
quavers,pickled onion monster munch,
chip butties with HP sauce!

the saying: "when god tells you to walk off a cliff, do so and trust him completely. He will either catch you when you fall, or he will teach you how to fly!"

PEOPLE FROWNING AT YOU! thats a major issue for me
Tapwater.
hypocrites (that do it in a nasty way).
people staring at you too much.
people using you.
when people never listen.
being alone.
fears, recurring fears and not knowing why.
sarcasm.
people controlling you and others.
alot about my family!
people ignoring and leaving you.
people saying "SMILE"/ "LAUGH!".
abuse.
fancying people !!!
lying.
jelousy (and when i get it as well!).
people faking everything all the time with you.
scary films.
not being able to see the bottom in water.
the idea of things living in the sea/ rivers.
the dark.
scary music.
Love. the whole concept. and how it is a lie.
patronising-ness.
when people are so bitter in such a nice tone.
BAD PARENTS! just don't be a parent!
anyone horrible to childen or animals.
How this list is bigger than my 'Likes' list lol

when a baby is crying out of general pain and all the mother does is shouts at it or wiggles a toy in it's face!
it annoys the hell out of me when people/animals are suffering but you can't do anything because they belong to that person.

Top Favourites:

Led zeppelin
Pendulum
Linkin park
Muse
Coldplay
Keane
Moby
Elvis
Avril Lavigne

some of the Others :

Guns n Roses
Eminem
lilly allen
Alien Ant Farm
Sum 41
Moody Blues
Green Day
Enya
Robbie Williams
Timberland's stuff
Kings of leon
The killers
Queen
Airbourne (only heard live)
Madonna (some)

LOADS OF ONE HIT WONDERS that would take ages to name! such as mission impossible 2 theme (instrumental)

don't read, id love to write a book though, one to help people with this kind of stuff.

pirates of the carribean, lord of the rings, star wars, ice age, madagascar, yes man!, indiana jones, bruce almighty and stuff like superbad and i love spaceballs! and AUSTIN POWERS! i love that type of humour

lots random stuff i want to be good at but am not

Challenging self hatred	I'm not straight , gay OR bi ?
Eat Your Way Out Of Depression	Abuse - Sexual/Physical/mental