I consider myself seeking answers ...answers to depression, answers to why I'm here, answers to the purpose of life....my life anyhow
I lived in Florida for 12 years , had a job I loved , a person that I considered to be my best friend and lover, a good life..without going into the details..I lost it all. I moved back to Louisiana where my family resides almost two years ago .I have not been able to find a job in my profession and it appears I can't pull myself out of the depression I've been in since I lived in Florida.
I'm working on it...I believe I have cycled in and out of depression all my life without really understanding what it was...I was treated for Anorexia as a young adult and still have those thoughts if I allow myself to become overweight.
I've never had a depression that appeared as if it would never end as this does..Sometimes I feel it's because I lost so much in such a short time...and now that I'm older I feel I don't have the time to recover and have what I had before...especially the self esteem, confidence,and most important.. love...which is like air to my life...I feel so empty...I know self love is the most important thing but I'm such a die hard romantic the thought of not being 'in love' again is devastating to me.I love my family very much...but it's not the same as 'in love' as feeling part of a whole.Probably silliness...but who I am. I don't think I'll be changing that part of me at this stage of my life. I truly beleive we are meant to be partnered...but..well..that's how I believe.
Daniel Powter-Bad Day
LIKES
Well...honestly..for
the
last
two
years
I
really
have
a
hard
time
"liking'
anything.I'm
constantly
working
to
change
my
thoughts
of
failing.
Waiting
for
change.....feeling
I
should
be
able
to
make
it
happen...but,
somehow
my
thoughts
keep
getting
in
the
way..but..insisting
I'll
not
give
up...never
give
in.
I
love
the
the
sound
of
rain
falling
on
a
tin
roof,
and
the
peaceful
sound
of
waves
breaking
on
a
white
sandy
shore.The
sound
my
paddle
made
as
I
paddled
down
a
quite
stream
in
my
Kayak.To
be
in
the
breeze
blowing
through
the
tall
majestic
redwoods
on
a
quite
mountain
top,
with
only
the
sounds
of
nature
touching
my
ears,
are
one
of
the
very
few
things
left
in
this
world
that
can
make
me
really
remember
happy.
Nature
I
trust....people
and
myself...well...I'm
working
on
it
Emo
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DISLIKES
I
dislike
me
at
this
time..surprize!
I
dislike
those
who
find
fault
in
others
who
are
trying
to
express
themselves
honestly....the
best
they
can.I
dislike
cruelty
in
all
it's
forms.
Emo
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[This member only allows comments from his/her friends.]
Thank
you
for
reading
my
blog
and
thank
you
for
replying
to
it.
Always
makes
me
feel
better
knowing
someone
heard
what
I
was
saying.
Have
a
wonderful
weekend
and
thanks
for
the
advice.
'The world is a bad place....a bad place......a sad place....a terrible place to live....but I don't want to die.....'Reflections of my Life,' The Marmalade
Jewel,Enya,Dido,Sass
Jordan,Evanesence,David
Cook,&
KT
Turnstall...
I
SO
RELATE
TO
THIS
SONG..'Q'
by
Michael
Johns
,
my
favorite
Aussie.
BOOKS
Many
Lives,
Many
Masters-
by
Brian
L.
Weiss,
MD
is
my
favorite
all
time
book.I've
read
all
Wayne
W
Dyer
books.Almost
anything
by
Dean
Koontz
or
Stephen
King.
I'm
fairly
eclectic
in
my
genre
of
books
but
Self
Help,Spiritual,Sci-Fi
and
Horror
are
my
favorites.
MOVIES
Lord
of
the
Rings
Trilogy,
Somewhere
in
Time,Life
as
a
House,
Fried
Green
Tomatoes,
Juno...
and
most
all
Sci-Fi.
Into
the
West
HOBBIES
When
I'm
not
depressed
99%
of
the
time
I
really
enjoy
writing
poetry
...and
sometimes
even
when
I
am
depressed,inline
skating,sailing,
working,
movies,
intelligent
conversation,
traveling.
Emo
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