Depression Tribe

I am working now, but have recently been dealing with a deep depression had been hoping with the new medication wouldn't be going through those again. But it came back and also had thoughts of suicide. Plus almost lost my services which would have meant losing my medication, but luckily didn't, but my psychiatrist has moved to another facility so now I have to see a new one, and my appoint was rescheduled so have to wait another week to see the new doctor. So I am hanging in there. Taking it day by day. With my bipolar II just having a normal day is my mania. Its very hard for me to confide in people about my bipolar II so I just keep my depression to myself and try and deal with it. Its been almost a year since I tried to commit suicide. This time last year is when my depression was becoming so intense and I see that it is again and it scares me. I can't wait until my appointment with the new psychiatrist so I can talk to him and tell him this maybe he can change my meds or increase them, Sometimes though I think it would be so much easier just to not be here anymore but then I think I would miss so much like my first grandchild. Sometimes I just don't know what to do and I just don't want to think anymore and I wish I could just disappear into my own little world and wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore. I guess I better stop writing before people think I really am crazy.

Walking on the beach, listening to the rain. Just getting into the car and driving.

People who don't accept other people for who they are.

I enjoy most kinds of music, but would rather listen to oldies especially from the 70's.

I enjoy reading murder mysteries, romance mysteries, and romance novels. I recently read the book "for one more day" by Mitch Albom. It was about a man attempting to try and kill himself and wasn't succeeding, and got one more day with his mother even though she had already died. I really enjoyed it. Two of my favorite parts in the book was when he wrote "You need to keep people close. You need to give them access to your heart." and "But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins." This helped me alot in dealing with feelings about my mother.

I don't watch alot of movies.

Painting pictures, making jewelry, and reading.