i have a disease called glaucoma. my parents are divorced (mom and step dad) and ive been bouncing back and forth between depression and letting go. i like to write lyrics, that helped a lot. my step dad was more than just a step, to me he was my real dad because my dad was really neglectful. my step dad helped mend things between me and dad, then he left to. i havnt talked to him seriously for almost three years.
lately ive been wishing more and more that i could be dead. i self harmed the other day. i cried so much last night and today
i jsut felt so dead. (5-8-12)
found out today it could be from this med i was on for a viral infection. not sure. im gonna go off it and see if i feel better and not so confused. it scares me to not be in control of my own mind.
today i just kinda wanna die. i dont feel like life is worth living anymore. im so numb and i cant even cry. this is why
i relate it to my step dad who was a dad to me for as long as i can remember and then walked away from me and left me here hallow and empty. and im not alright. not ok. not ever ok. never will be.