Depression Tribe

I am just me, a mediocre man with no self confidence but a very strong will.
My life moves in what seems very large circles, starting at very high points of what could be called pleasureable, (which i cant handle) to the very low points of depression (i am most comfortable here if you understand what i mean).
I started here seeking help one night which i still remember very well and now get great pleasure from helping others. I dont profess to know all about life or have all of the answers, but i have a varied experience of life and have an understanding which i feel comes from a strong heart and a mind which is free.
My story and depression stems from being hyperactive (which was mis-diagnosed) as a child and the fact of my strange, very strict and no childhood allowed childhood. I'm not saying it was as terrible as many persons on here have experienced, but put it this way, i am very used to a good beating physically when i was too young to understand and hence why struggle with inner demons.
I am here because i still dont understand my life or what happened.
I cant get over the past and i need friendships as peoples wisdom, experience and advice from people whom know better than me has really helped.
I pushed everyone away in my past to save them from my misery. I was wrong and now need support, or rather to give support as it is one of my only true pleasure's now.
If i'm honest, i need friends advice as my biggest worry is whether my son will become like his father. I beg in prayers that he isnt and will never be as i cant live in me, my mind, and i dont want his mind to be tormented like mine.
My torment is of the damage i cause others. My worry is how my child will deem this life and this world and of course how he see's his father.
My gift is my friendship, my pleasure is to help and be well thought of.
My love is to all..........

Your Depression Level: 100%

You seem to be severely depressed. You should seek immediate attention from your physician. Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Your Social Anxiety Level: 84%

You have extreme social anxiety. Your social phobia is a serious problem for you, and you definitely need help. And while getting help may seem very scary, it's your only choice... except for hermitude!

In 1974 (the year you were born)

Gerald Ford becomes president of the US Hank Aaron hits his 715th home run to beat Babe Ruth's record Impeachment hearings are opened against President Nixon by the House Judiciary Committee President Nixon resigns President Gerald Ford issues an unconditional pardon to ex-President Nixon for all federal crimes Muhammad Ali knocks out George Foreman in the eighth round to regain the heavyweight crown in Zaire Heiress Patty Hearst is kidnapped by and eventually joins the Symbionese Liberation Army Dungeons & Dragons officially released People magazine is published for the first time Kate Moss, Alyson Hannigan, Penelope Cruz, Alanis Morissette, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ryan Seacrest are born Oakland Athletics win the World Series Miami Dolphins win Superbowl VIII Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup Blazing Saddles is the top grossing film All the President's Men by Bernstein and Woodward is published "Killing Me Softly With His Song" wins Grammy for song of the year

What Richard Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

My likes have now changed due to some fantastic friends that i have made on DT.....
I love all my DT friends and i wish everyone who passes by all the best and good luck in your fight against your various ailments.....
My favourite likes is most definately my son. I just wish his father was not such a moody, useless incapable idiot who obviousely cannot deal with this world. What a role model i think (Not).

That i cannot be normal and have confidence like most people i know and work with. That i cannot just walk over people which seems to be the norm although i'd never want too as i will not take the easy route. And that i worry and care about everyone else and forget that i also exist sometimes. I really just dislike myself. Sorry

Radiohead, Queens Of The Stone Age, Metalica, Korn, Beck, Creed, Muse, The Damned, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Inxs....

All Stephen King books and any Biography.

Black Hole (A Poem)
When there is a single thought that just keeps going round,
that draws all others in to it, then this rumination's bound
to form a singularity.
Others gravitate to the weight of this single thought
unable to escape despite knowing that they ought
to flee the singularity.
In spectacular collision two spiralling thoughts may create
a rare and fleeting fancy that might just avoid a fate
within the singularity.
It ascends. It aspires. It struggles against the pull.
To which it eventually succumbs. The all powerful
and consuming singularity.
Leaving just a single thought going round and round
bending all lighter thoughts to itself in a way that's bound
to perpetuate the singularity.
�Adam Rulli-Gibbs 2002 - 2006

Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick, Alien vs Predator, Resident Evil, Night Watch, Matrix, Underworld, Silent Hill, Constantine, Falling Down, Hitman.

Reading, computing, education, my son, cuddling..

Members In Need	~Parents Place~
Self Harm