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Every
day
I
am
more
and
more
withdrawn.
Every
day
I
want
to
blog
so
badly
and
I
just
can't.
I
feel
like
I'm
sinking
and
I
really
shouldn't
be.
I
type
a
line,
and
then
delete
it...
I
feel
ashamed
of
how
I
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I
went
to
my
MD
yesterday.
I
"over
thought"
it
..like
always.
I
had
to
get
a
chest
x-ray
in
order
to
volunteer.
I
had
tested
positve
for
TB
years
ago.
I
can't
get
the
skin
test
because
it
might
become
active..thus
the
x-ray.
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| By: |
Jekka
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| Mood: | Angry |
| Date: | Sep. 03, 2010 |
| OFFLINE
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My
best
friend
is
up
to
her
antics
again.
I'm
not
sure
why
I
don't
just
move
on
and
deal
with
someone
else.
She's
constantly
drunk,
abusing
her
medication,
using
pot
instead
of
her
perscribed
meds,
not
taking
care
of
her
four
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| By: |
Honey__
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| Mood: | Other |
| Date: | Sep. 03, 2010 |
| OFFLINE
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I
find
it
difficult
to
picture
beginnings.
Start
lines?
.
I
find
it
easy
to
visualise
endings.
And
I
see
them
in
words,
actions,
reasons.
Finish
lines
are
etched
into
my
way
of
thinking.
I
can
analyse
this
through
the
therapy
I
have
had.
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I
know
I
should
care
but
I
don't.
I've
had
a
sh*tty
day
and
it's
just
reinforcing
the
fact
that
I
am
a
failure,
as
a
mother,
as
a
person,
as
anything.
Just
a
blob
taking
up
space
f@cking
up
her
life
simply
by
existing.
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