Crying For My Youth

By: Sean
Mood: Sad
Date: Nov 26, 2012
Music: None

Right now I'm crying for a reason that I haven't been sad about in years. I hate growing up. I want to little again and innocent. Ive always dreaded getting older, even when I was a kid I wanted to stay a kid. I want to be little and have my parents take care of me like they used to. I keep feeling like I'll never make it as an adult, I dont want to be on my own sometimes. I wish with all my heart that I could be 8 again and not have a care in the world. Not know about all the things out there, everything that I've seen.... I want to erase my memory so I can be happy. I felt like a child today because my mom scold me in church to part attention and I'm slowly trying to rebel. But after I was already close to tears, and she asked me why an I crying, and whats wrong. That triggered me to completely break down in front of her, and my bro. I just let it all out. She tried to comfort me by telling me to ask god for help.... I wanted to say that god has nothing to do with why I'm like this, but I just told her that my emotions have been so intense lately. But after that she was a little more kind to me, I was felling sad all day, until I took a nap. When I get sad I like to take naps, because I usually wake up slightly happier. But just thinking about the moment I broke down, makes me was to be young again. Damn... I wish I could go back in time. I can't even really remember most of my childhood. It such a blur.... I want to do it again. Sometimes I feel like I never was a child.


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November 26, 2012, 9:06 am

 Dear Sean,

All the things you say here are verified by the tests.  You published the results, remember? According to your test results, these are the issues you and your therapist need to work on.


Coexisting with mental illness