High-Strung
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By:
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sadviolinist
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Mood:
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Anxious
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Date:
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Nov 14, 2012
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Music:
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None
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So
I'm
still
feeling
blah
today,
but
took
my
Mom
out
for
lunch
and
did
Christmas
shopping
afterwards.
We
had
a
pretty
good
time
and
we
never
get
to
spend
"girl
time"
together,
so
it
was
a
special
treat.
It
made
me
feel
better
though
,
and
I
think
her
as
well.
So
it
was
a
good
day
in
it'sown
way.
I'm
still
feeling
a
lot
of
anxiety
off
and
on,
but
when
it's
on
it's
fairly
intense.
The
doc
said
thatit
wouldtake
up
to
a
month
of
taking
my
Abilify
for
it
to
reach
it's
peak,
and
it
is
possible
that
taking
it
4
hours
late
today
may
be
part
of
the
problem,
lol.
It's
probably
my
own
fault. Every
time
I
think
about
work
my
stomach
knots
up...anyone
else
have
that
issue?
I
mean
I
spend
days
fretting
about
going
to
work,
trying
to
convince
myself
not
to
call
out
sick,
not
to
freakout
and
make
myself
sick
about
it...even
violin
lessons.
I
don't
understand
it
at
all.
I
never
used
to
be
this
way
until
I
got
so
sick
when
I
was
pregnant
with
Zachary.
I'm
just
scared
all
the
time.
It
really
stinks.
:-(It
gets
to
the
point
that
I
can't
think,
I
just
freeze
up.
I
took
a
nap
today
for
only
an
hour
or
so,
but
I
ended
up
having
a
nightmare
about
my
son
coming
home
sobbing
and
me
not
being
awake
to
be
there
for
him
so
I
wokeup
feeling....you
guessed
it...panicked.
I
wish
I
knew
what
to
do
to
change
it.
It's
a
good
thing
that
I'm
going
to
see
my
therapist
tomorrow,
maybe
she
could
help
me
with
figure
out
some
things
(besides
breathing
techniques
and
meditation)
to
stop
the
flight/fight
response
in
it's
tracks
as
soon
as
it
begins. Tomorrow
I
also
meet
up
with
a
representative
for
a
company
that
does
home-based
work.
I'm
going
to
figure
out
whether
I
want
to
get
involved
or
not.
If
I
could
work
from
home
on
my
own
schedule
that
would
be
wonderful.
I'd
probably
keep
my
job
cashiering
(because
it
keeps
me
dealing
with
people)
unless
the
business
gets
big
enough
that
I
don't
have
room
for
anything
else.That
would
be
nice.
:-)
I
wish
I
wasn't
so
irritable
and
short-tempered
tonight.
But
everybody
seems
to
be
in
my
personal
space
and
won't
leave
me
be
which
makes
me
high-strung
and
tense.
Grrrrr!!!!
Thanks
for
all
the
prayers
for
my
friend...I'm
hoping
she'll
get
through
this
well
and
only
have
to
do
the
single
round
of
treatment.
Well
everyone,
have
a
nice
evening
and
sorry
I'm
complaining
so
much.
I
don't
like
this
side
of
me,
but
it's
there
so
I
have
to
acknowledge
it
and
give
it
voice
sometimes.
But
hugs
to
all
and
love,
light
and
blessings
to
all.
Goodnight.
~
Key
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