|
Depression, Work, and Superman
Being
depressed
is
anathema
to
productivity
and
labor.
That
is,
it’s
nearly
impossible
to
be
experiencing
high-levels
of
depression
and
be
productive
at
the
same
time.
Sure,
some
of
us
struggle
through
depression
and
hold
down
jobs,
go
to
the
workplace
day
after
day,
forcing
ourselves
to
meet
the
demands
of
our
particular
occupations.
However,
just
as
many
or
perhaps
even
more
of
us
are
unemployed
or
on
disability,
unable
to
earn
a
living
through
our
labor,
mired
in
the
sucking
quicksand
of
depression,
and
perhaps
devoid
of
the
dignity
and
self-esteem
that
result
from
a
paid
job.
Certainly,
all
of
us
struggle,
in
our
own
ways,
with
being
productive
and
being
depressed
at
the
same
time.
For
some
of
us,
depression
steals
our
motivation
and
drive
to
work.
Thus,
we
feel
like
failures
and
losers.
Others
work
harder,
sometimes
sublimating,
other
times
simply
repressing
their
depression
into
a
constant
frenzy
of
completing
large
and
small
tasks,
becoming
workaholics.
I
envy
those
who
are
able
to
work
productively
or
those
who
are
able
to
simply
stay
busy,
despite
a
high-level
of
depression.
When
my
mood
is
particularly
low,
and
I
feel
hopeless
and
miserable,
I
can’t
work
at
my
job.
Rather,
in
order
to
work
and
write
(I’m
a
professional
writer),
I
must
feel
safe,
loved,
self-confident,
and
hopeful
which
are
feelings
that
disappear
when
I’m
extremely
depressed.
Despite
my
chronic
bouts
of
depression
and
my
struggles
with
Post-Traumatic
Syndrome,
I
am
still
considered
high-functioning.
That
is,
I’m
able
to
maintain
some
degree
of
productivity
for
relatively
long
periods
of
time.
I
suffer
from
Bipolar
Disorder
II,
which
means
that
my
moods
cycle
rapidly.
Sometimes,
during
a
single
day,
I
go
from
the
depths
of
despair
and
perceived
failure
to
the
grandiose
feeling
that
I
can
accomplish
anything.
But
most
days,
I
struggle
with
low-levels
of
depression,
which
are
better
than
the
“manic”
days
which
consist
of
intense
and
debilitating
anxiety.
My
mental
illness
is
controlled
by
medications,
which
is
the
only
reason
why
I’m
even
able
to
write
this
right
now.
When
I
am
unmedicated,
I
can
sometimes
limp
along
in
my
life,
creating
an
illusion
of
productivity
and
“normalcy,”
but more often, I
literally
stare
at
walls,
anxiously
smoking
cigarette
after
cigarette,
trapped
among
the
racing
thoughts
in
my
head.
Medications
help,
but
in
order
to
adequately
manage
depression,
they
must
be
accompanied
by
therapy,
which
is
work;
by
eating
right
and
exercising,
which
is
work;
by
focusing
on
the
positive
and
maintaining
positivity,
which
is
work;
and
by
utilizing
other
ways
of
managing
depression,
which
is
work.
And
finally,
this
is
my
point:
Managing
depression
is
work.
It
requires
our
very
real
labor
to
keep
ourselves
alive
and
moving
from
day
to
day.
Consider
for
instance
that
in
order
to
manage
our
depression,
many
of
us
must
make
and
keep
appointments
with
doctors,
therapists,
case
managers,
social
workers,
and
other
professional
providers.
I
don’t
know
about
you,
but
after
sitting
in
a
doctor’s
office
for
several
hours,
waiting
to
be
seen,
it
starts
to
feel
like
a
job.
Or
consider
how
much
mental
work
is
required
to
stay
rational
and
positive
when
dealing
with
negative
feelings
that
feel
so
right,
no
matter
how
much
your
rational
mind
tells
you
that
they
are
wrong.
Finally,
consider
the
physical
labor
it
takes
to
drag
yourself
out
of
bed,
when
all
you
want
to
do
is
to
sleep
and
never
wake
up.
Yeah,
managing
depression
is
hard
work.
So,
being
depressed
and
being
productive,
while
not
necessarily
mutually
exclusive,
require
superman-like
efforts
on
our
part—plugging
away
every
day
at
our
jobs
and
daily
tasks
like
Clark
Kent,
avoiding
the
kryptonite
of
negative
feelings,
saving
ourselves
from
the
life-threatening
situation
of
mental
illness.
Really,
none
of
us
are
Superman.
We’re
simply
going
to
our
jobs
every
day,
tending
to
homes,
raising
children,
going
to
school,
trying
to
live
out
some
“normalcy”
in
our
daily
lives.
Still,
that
we
do
these
things,
despite
depression,
is,
in
my
opinion,
an
enormous
feat
of
super-heroic
proportions.
|
|
