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The Treadmill
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By:
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Flower99
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Mood:
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Tired
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Date:
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Oct 13, 2008
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Music:
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None
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Sylvia
Plath
wrote
in
The
Bell
Jar:
"The
reason
I
hadn't
washed
my
clothes
or
my
hair
was
because
it
seemed
so
silly.
I
saw
the
days
of
the
year
stretching
ahead
like
a
series
of
bright,
white
boxes,
and
separating
one
box
from
another
was
sleep,
like
a
black
shade.
Only
for
me,
the
long
perspective
of
shades
that
set
off
one
box
from
the
next
had
suddenly
snapped
up,
and
I
could
see
day
after
day
after
day
glaring
ahead
of
me
like
a
white,
broad,
infinitely
desolate
avenue.
It
seemes
silly
to
wash
one
day
when
I
would
only
have
to
wash
again
the
next.
It
made
me
tired
just
to
think
of
it.
I
wanted
to
do
everything
once
and
for
all
and
be
through
with
it."
This
is
exactly
how
I
feel.
Life
isn't
broken
up
anymore
into
day
then
night
then
another
day
etc.
Its
just
one
long
tunnel
that
goes
on
and
on.
I
have
thought
many
times
that
I
feel
as
though
I
am
running
on
a
treadmill.
Just
me
on
the
treadmill....exhausted
and
struggling
like
mad
to
keep
up.
Life
just
flashes
past
the
treadmill.
Days,
weeks,
people,
conversations,
chores.
It
all
just
comes
at
me
faster
and
faster
and
faster.
I'm
so
exhausted.
I
want
to
stop
the
treadmill
to
take
a
breath
but
I
have
to
keep
going.
I
have
no
choice.
It
can't
be
turned
off.
Just
like
something
from
a
strange
dream.
When
I'm
not
depressed
the
pattern
of
life
feels
different.
Of
course
there
will
be
days
when
you
are
tired
or
things
feel
a
bit
of
a
drag
and
you
can't
be
bothered
with
work
that
day
but
you
still
get
on
with
it
and
you
can
think
"I
can't
wait
until
this
evening
when
I
can
just
go
home
and
put
my
feet
up."
or
you
look
forward
to
the
weekend
thinking
"Roll
on
friday".
When
you
are
on
the
treadmill
there
is
no
end
of
the
day.
There
is
no
weekend.
There
is
no
friday
feeling.
There
are
no
breaks
whatsoever.
Just
the
continuous
pounding
exhaustion
from
one
minute
to
the
next.
There
is
no
off
button.
You're
just
stuck
on
the
treadmill.
Like
a
waking
nightmare.
So
as
Plath
says
it
seems
silly
to
wash
your
hair.
It
seems
silly
to
me
to
tidy
my
house
when
It
will
only
need
doing
again
tomorrow.
Tomorrow
is
just
another
day
flashing
past
the
treadmill
the
same
as
today.
So
why
bother?
Then
there
will
be
more
things
to
be
done
the
next
day
and
the
next
day
and
the
next
day
and
the
next
day.
You
wonder
if
the
only
thing
for
it
is
to
just
stop
and
see
what
happens.
How
bad
would
the
crash
be?
Or
will
I
eventually
collapse
on
the
treadmill.
What
happens
then?
I've
tried
screaming
for
help
but
nobody
can
hear
me......
and
they
can't
see
the
treadmill.
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