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finaly
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By:
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lucy_willow
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Nov 20, 2008
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Music:
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None
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I
broke
down
last
night
infront
of
my
academic
advisor.
She
was
a
clinical
counselor
for
a
long
time
before
she
became
a
professor.
I
wasn't
even
expecting
it.
we
talked
a
little
bit
about
my
thoughts...
what
would
happen
if
mom
died,
what
if
I
killed
myself.
I
told
her
that
it
was
scary...
it
is.
I
don't
want
to
kill
myself,
but
I
just
can't
help
thinking
about
it.
We
also
talked
a
little
bit
about
my
dad.
She
said
he's
a
serial
child
neglector
and
serial
marriage
partner.
I've
never
had
his
support
other
than
financial....
and
even
that
is
limited.
He
left
his
first
daughter,
he
psychologically
abused
my
half-brother.
Now
he
has
a
new
family
and
grandkids...
and
new
furniture
for
his
house.
So
we
decided
that
I
was
going
to
be
able
to
lick
this.
She's
been
through
the
same
things.
The
more
I
talk
about
it
to
people
who
can
help
me,
the
more
I
feel
better.
It's
going
to
take
some
time,
but
my
first
assignment
was
getting
an
appointment,
so
I
made
one
with
the
free
counseling
center
on
campus.
I
also
went
looking
for
an
internship
for
the
summer
with
a
federal
agencies.
:)
We're
gonna
make
it
after
all!
We
can
change
our
life.
We
just
need
to
take
that
first
step...
that
hardest
step.
Being
Vunerable
sucks,
but
when
its
to
people
who
care;
people
who
can
give
professional
help--thats
awesome.
The
next
step
is
hard:
having
to
tell
mom.
I
don't
want
her
to
worry,
but
if
I
don't
talk
to
her
about
all
of
me
that
makes
the
relationship
inauthentic.
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