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Urgh
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By:
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thesockqueen
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Mood:
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Don't know
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Date:
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Mar 29, 2007
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Music:
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None
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I've
got
a
feeling
this
weekend
is
going
to
suck
royally
on
so
many
levels.
I
feel
like
I
have
absolutely
no
friends
right
now.
It
has
to
be
more
than
mere
coincidence
that
every
time
I
am
unavailable
at
the
weekend
my
friends
have
an
apparently
brilliant
time,
yet
when
I
am
WITH
my
friends
at
the
weekend
it
was
just
'average'.
I
hate
having
to
listen
to
these
people
regale
tales
of
their
fabulous
nights
out
and
whatnot
yet
when
I'm
with
them
there's
never
anything
to
write
home
about
the
next
day.
I
might
just
become
a
hermit
and
live
under
a
rock..that's
all
I
feel
like
I'm
good
for
right
now.
I
have
no
future,
I
can't
get
into
a
university
because
I
failed
GCSE
Maths
and
due
to
my
severe
discalculia
[number
dyslexia]
I'd
have
to
retake
the
exam
over
a
course
of
like
2
years.
I
just
feel
like
I'm
gonna
be
stuck
in
the
same
type
of
jobs
for
ever,
never
moving
onwards
and
upwards,
watching
people
I
used
to
be
friends
with
pass
me
by,
getting
promotions,
moving
away.
Eventually
I'll
have
nothing
and
no
one.
Everything
I
do
I
am
always
overlooked
by
somebody
better..even
at
work
the
new
guy
got
more
shifts
than
I
did
for
the
next
month.
I
work
hard,
so
why
am
I
never
rewarded
for
it?
I'm
stuck
in
a
rut
with
no
way
to
get
out
because
I
can't
count
so
obviously
that
makes
me
a
retard
and
'off
the
radar'
so
to
speak.
The
guy
I
like
at
the
moment
has
a
girlfriend
so
there's
no
point
even
trying
to
get
close
to
him.
He's
so
sweet
and
nice,
every
time
I
see
him
I
get
a
wink
or
a
cuddle
or
a
big
smile.
He
always
stops
to
talk
to
me,
even
if
he's
busy
[he
works
backstage
at
the
theatre
where
I
work].
Typically
I'm
reading
way
too
far
into
things,
and
now
I'm
crushing
on
him
hopelessly,
even
though
I
know
deep
down
nothing
can
or
will
ever
happen.
Why
do
I
always
do
that?
Go
for
guys
who
are
emotionally
unavailable,
ACTUALLY
unavailable..or
both,
in
some
cases.
I
just
want
to
be
loved
sometimes,
but
every
time
I
put
my
heart
out
there
I
have
it
stamped
on
by
some
heartless
moron
who
cares
more
about
his
dick
than
someone's
feelings
[I
apologise
to
any
men
reading
this..you're
not
all
bad
].
Meh,
this
guy
[Colin]
would
never
go
for
me
if
he
knew
about
my
past.
I'm
'damaged
goods'
apparently,
whatever
the
hell
that
means.
Life
is
just
pretty
hopeless
right
now.
I
don't
know
why
I
go
up
and
down
like
this..yesterday
I
was
feeling
blissfully
calm
and
'normal'..now
I
feel
like
a
complete
wreck
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