Why
isn't
there
a
day
for
people
that
have
depression...I
have
always
been
a
Christmas
person...but
now
I'm
not..It
has
always
been a
weird
time
for
me
because
now
the
holidays
remind
me
of
death...I
hate
New
Years
because
my
grandmother
died
around
that
time
many
years
ago..and
Christmas
would
always
remind
me
of
her..but
then
again
I
had
my
mom
to
keep
me
smiling..Now
my
mom
is
dead
and
I
buried
Christmas
with
her
memory...It
doesn't
affect
me
anymore..I
know
it
is
the
birth
of
Christ..but
its
also
death
for
me...I
slept
through
Christmas
so
I
could
avoid
people's
"happy
holidays"
phone
calls...I
didn't
go
see
the
rest
of
my
family
for
Christmas
because
it
doesn't
feel
the
same...Unless
my
mom
tries
to
put
the
fear
of
God
in
me
and
forces
me
to
celebrate
the
holidays
where
she
is
in
heaven..then
I
might...other
than
that
I
have
skipped
the
holidays
since
the
month
she
died..which
was
last
December...Thanksgiving
was
so
bad..I
couldn't
be
happy
at
all..I
went
to
a
friend's
house
for
Thanksgiving
dinner
and
the
only
thing
I
wanted
to
do
was
cry
the
whole
time
I
was
there..People
handle
death
in
different
ways..I
have
a
way
of
not
dealing...and
making
it
seem
like
I'm
fine
when
I'm
not...I
come
from
a
strong
family
that
is
very
opposite
of
me...The
last
day
I
saw
my
mom
on
earth...my
family
was
at
her
hospital
bed
making
jokes
to
keep
a
good
mood
around...I
felt
like
going
crazy....I
had
to
keep
leaving
the
room
and
then
go
home...I
think
what
bothers
me
the
most
was
that
my
mom
was
on
a
respirator
and
she
kept
trying
to
say
something...but
we
didn't
know
what
she
was
trying
to
say...That
will
stay
with
me
until
the
day
I
die...The
day
my
mom
died
I
felt
like
I
was
an
orphan...because
she
was
my
family...I
have
other
family
members
but
they
were
never
there
for
me
like
my
mom...The
day
of
the
funeral
I
stayed
in
my
room
when
everyone
was
in
my
house
eating
and
talking
about
her
memories
and
so
on...I'm
so
used
to
going
in
the
room
to
keep
my
mom
company
because
even
though
she
socialized
better
than
I
did...she
would
like
to
go
in
her
room
and
watch
some
tv...and
I
would
join
her...Now
I
can't...So
many
people
God
could
of
taken...and
he
had
to
take
her...one
of
the
kindest
people
I've
ever
known...Some
things
are
not
easy
to
understand
I am sorry about the way Christmas has become for you. I am sorry about your mom also. Did your mom like Christmas? If so, maybe next year you could do Christmas for her.
I lost my 3 wonderful children in a housefire, that 1st Christmas was the worst. I knew in my heart how much that they loved Christmas and especially decorating the Christmas tree.
Every year I have added a new tree and decorated it thru their eyes. I now have 20 trees! I remember the looks on their faces when the trees are lit.
I'm not suggesting you add a new tree every year but maybe a new ornament just for your mom and grandma.
your right they aren't i lost my dad 2 years ago January and i struggle every christmas b day and new year, it does get easier as much as i dont want it to. But talking does help remebering them in the good times. I still talk to my dad sometimes i know he is always looking over me. And i sounds as though your mum will be doing the same. She wont want you to be so down. Talk to her let it go . Live life as she would. I know it is hard but it does help.
Adios Holiday Season
