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Another day
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By:
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RichardW
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Mood:
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Lonely
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Date:
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Mar 22, 2008
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Music:
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Radiohead - There there
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For
all
the
people
who
know
me,
i
did
that
stupid
and
cowardly
attempt
a
little
while
back,
damaged
my
liver
etc
and
am
still
here
with
the
same
frustrations.
Taking
new
meds
to
control
my
Biopolar
and
havent
cut
for
a
while
so
a
suppose
things
are
ok.
After
reading
some
peoples
thoughts
of
me
being
selfish
to
my
son
and
wife,
i
have
had
time
to
reflect.
My
wife
has
forgotten
my
attempt
already
and
has
fallen
into
making
the
same
old
arguements
and
demands
as
before
and
is
making
life
again
so
awkward.
Then
there
is
my
gorgeous
son,
i
love
him
with
every
breath
i
make,
i
worship
him
but
then
my
dilemma.
The
meds
are
working
sort
of,
yes,
but
the
scars
from
my
cutting,
the
obvious
scars
on
my
wrists
(six
in
all),
my
eyes
not
ever
again
to
be
a
healthy
white
due
to
my
body
deteriation
and
then
my
mind.
Ups,
downs,
ups
downs,
panic
attacks,
paranoia,
memmory
loss,
suicidle
thoughts.
Again,
why
was
i
selfish
to
attempt
to
kill
myself,
does
my
son
really
want
to
see
all
this.
Does
he
want
to
get
to
know
the
fallen
father
or
have
people
tell
him
good
stories
of
when
he
was
well.
Selfish,
i
think
not,
my
son
should
be
with
someone
who
can
teach
him
good
things,
someone
strong
minded
not
weak,
someone
who
can
walk
down
a
street
without
having
paranoid
seisures. My
shrink
thinks
i
am
very
complex,
more
like
he
is
unable
to
help,
i
get
more
help
from
this
site
to
be
honest,
i
can
talk
to
people
who
really
know
rather
than
a
book
worm.
My
scientific
mind
is
always
in
overdrive,
i
swear
to
all
that
reads
this,
i
am
only
calm
and
relaxed
when
i
help
others,
it
saves
me
from
my
madness,
my
star
sign,
my
duel
identity.
My
health
is
sooo
bad,
but
i
dont
care,
i
just
want
my
son
to
not
have
my
ailments,
but
i
think
more
and
more
from
anallisiing
him
that
he
will
do
so
i
have
to
be
around
to
help
him
when
it
starts.
How
the
hell
can
i
when
i
dont
understand
myself.
I
cant
get
my
true
feelings
out
on
paper,
i
am
a
person
to
person
man,
but
when
i
offer
help
it
is
deemed
that
i
want
something.
Is
this
what
the
world
has
become.
I
was
once
a
Deep
Coal
Miner,
where
people
helped
one
another
but
then
came
back
into
the
world,
a
selfish
world
were
someone
cant
offer
their
help
without
a
alteria
motive.
Jesshhh.
The
tangents
of
my
mind.
Always
asking
questions.
To
all
the
people
who
know
me,
dont
worry
i
not
ever
gonna
try
and
kill
myself
again.
I
a
failure
at
it,
4
times
i
have
failed,
its
a
joke.
But
one
thing
i
have
learned
on
my
reflection
of
recent
happenings,
I
AM
NOT
SELFISH!!!!!
I
am
me,
take
it
or
leave
it,
no
bull,
just
straight
forward,
no
s**t
me.
By
helping
you
if
you'll
let
me,
you
are
actually
helping
me.
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