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back up (part two)
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By:
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bre34
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Mood:
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Fearful
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Date:
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May 16, 2008
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Music:
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fleetwood mac
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ok
if
i
am
going
to
tell
the
story
i
might
as
well
tell
all
of
it
eh?
i
neglected
to
tell
two
stories.
one
that
taught
me
to
not
have
attachments.......my
grandpa
that
i
stayed
with
meant
the
world
to
me.
i
loved
and
cherished
that
man.
when
i
left
he
gave
me
a
teddy
bear
that
meant
everything
to
me.
when
i
was
in
new
york
my
brother
decided
he
was
jealous
of
that
teddy
bear
and
hid
it
on
me.
i
bawled
for
a
week
until
my
mother
found
it
and
flung
it
at
me.
it
was
obvious
what
had
happened
to
the
thing
but
mother
never
did
anything
about
it.
i
was
still
5
yrs
old.
the
other
was
a
punishment.
my
step
dad
played
baseball.
my
mother
couldnt
take
us
the
day
he
had
a
game
so
he
locked
my
brother
and
i
in
a
van.
i
was
bored
beyond
belief.
my
brother
was
talking
to
some
boy
outside
and
i
wanted
in
the
conversation.
my
brother
told
me
that
only
males
could
be
in
the
convo.
well
there
was
a
glass
pop
bottle
on
the
floor
of
the
van
so
i
held
it
there
and
said
see
i
have
a
****.
well
my
step
father
saw
this
and
told
my
mother.
as
punishment
she
made
my
brother
and
i
strip
in
front
of
each
other
(no
idea
what
the
logic
of
this
was
)
she
then
proceded
to
beat
us
both
with
a
belt...not
the
leather
no...with
the
buckle.
one
of
her
swings
was
a
bit
off
and
she
knocked
me
out
cold
(concussion
1).
when
the
school
year
ended
we
moved
to
cali.
i
have
no
idea
where
my
step
father
went.
i
remember
him
being
there
in
the
beginning
of
the
journey
(we
drove)
but
he
wasnt
there
by
the
time
we
made
it
cali.
as
bad
as
new
york
was...this
is
where
the
fun
started.
my
mother
decided
that
just
beating
me
wasnt
enuff.
i
still
couldnt
sit
still.
she
started
to
lock
me
in
my
room.
no
lights
no
repreive.
i
was
terrified
of
the
dark
but
she
didnt
care.
she
would
take
to
locking
me
in
theer
for
days.
i
might
get
a
sandwhich
tossed
at
me
once
a
day.
they
would
let
me
out
twice
to
go
to
the
bathroom
and
then
i
had
to
go
right
back
in.
well
crafty
thing
i
am,
i
figured
out
that
my
hands
were
small
enuff
to
reach
thru
the
door
opening
and
undo
the
chain
lock.
i
would
do
this
every
night
to
sneak
downstairs
and
eat.
well
she
caught
me
one
night
and
changed
that
she
put
on
a
regular
lock
and
when
i
learned
to
pick
that
she
locked
me
in
the
laundry
room
downstairs
and
put
an
alarm
on
the
door.
food
was
a
hell
of
a
torture
my
mother
played
me
with.
she
would
make
a
big
meal
and
her
a
new
boyfriend
of
hers
and
my
brother
would
sit
and
eat
it
in
front
of
me.
i
would
hafta
sit
on
the
floor
and watch
as
they
ate
all
the
food.
this
was
a
ritual
for
every
holiday.
on
the
rare
occasions
that
my
mother
let
me
play
outside,
my
brother
would
terrorize
me.
he
dared
me
to
jump
off
a
second
floor
balcony.
now
i
idolized
my
brother
so
of
course
i
agreed.
i
got
stuck
cause
i
wouldnt
let
go.
he
had
to
go
get
mother
who
got
her
brother
to
get
me
down.
she
beat
us
both.
whenever
my
brother
got
in
trouble
he
would
talk
me
into
taking
the
blame.
guilt
trip
in
other
words.
id
get
beat,
and
then
locked
up.
now
half
the
time
there
is
no
way
that
my
mother
didnt
know
it
wasnt
me
(i
was
locked
up
at
the
time).
one
time
i
stood
up
to
mother.
i
was
six
years
old.
she
put
my
head
thru
the
wall
(hairline
fracture
1).
i
would
go
to
school
with
welts,
black
eyes,
a
bottom
so
red
raw
from
getting
beat
i
literally
couldnt
sit
down.
i
was
taken
to
hospital
with
concussions,
hairline
fractures
and
nothing
was
ever
done,
no
one
reported
it.
ok
getting
off
track.
the
next
story
is
real
hard
to
tell
so
this
is
enuff
for
now.
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