Depression

i am 31 really down to earth and ease going if you want to know anything about me please just ask me and i answer you.

i have suffered from depression since very early on in childhood and have been up and down with it throughout my life.my depression is from every kind of abuse you can think of by my brother and grandad. one day i WILL be brave enough to write my life story and blog it, but sorry not yet.

at 26 i had to have a hysterectomy i needed it to live but i can hardly leave the house if i see a baby i freeze and cry im in pieces, yet alot of backgrounds on here or pics are of babies and im coping.
yhe and only thing taking away through what happen as a child.
i have gone from relationships all who abused me my 3 major r/s have been well thats another day another story.

my hubby well another story for some time later.

at the moment i'm at the worst stage i have ever been i have planned to take my life so many times i cant remember a moment during the day that i dont think about it.

i am also in sereve pain 24/7 and been off work for while now i am waiting for major operations and they cant come fast enough.i have been put on liquid morphine and am waiting for 2 major operations hoping praying that the first one will help the 2nd so i dont need need but that happens to normal people as it were me normal, no wouldnt want to be.

i have been in and out of hospital for my depression, and voices that i hear. my parents were first told i was down had the blues about when i was 6yrs old. when i was 11 i had a nervous breakdown and a baby which died within hours. since then well i havent had all the eggs in my bag lol.

at present till the end of oct i am in hospital, thanks to my forever angel friend on here she listened as i talked myself into coming in. copule of days later i saved my pills up and OD i wanted to die never see the light of day again.
i was found by a nre member of staff poor thing, but since my work on inner child through hypnosis
sorry spell not good... and then we are going to do regression work i am on a upper at he min i pray that it lasts.

well like i said i will change, prob; repeart myself and swap and change this part so pls re read every now and then.
BE GOOD GUYS IF YOU CANT BE GOOD BE WONDERFUL
remember we dont have to live a life we have to live a day at a time dont go to far ahead.

god, my pops who's pasted on and my gran who is alive she's 96 but doing great, i dread that phone call. my parents to.
i love the sea and the countryside.
my ideal holiday would be staying in the ice hotel everything made of ice chairs, tables, and beds all i need now is ti win the lottery then i will be able to go.......lol

people who hurt others by any means.
poeple who give anyone a chance once we say mental health issues if they rurn off my blood boils, if my toe was broke they would listen, so listen to us. we talk more sense than most.

depends what mood i am in, i like all music.
my one dream here was to see meatloaf in concert again before he stopped doing uk tours didnt make it.

thrillers, Jeffery Deaver is my all time favourite author.
supernatual books dream books
loads again.

true stories, anything that makes me laugh, i find it hard to watch movies through pain and i cant keep my mind on them. i love writting poems as you will find out, you'll be telling me to stop writting them lol.

crafting, reading, tv, the internet is my lifeline.love motorbikes have to where i live really.
mostly my new friends i meet on here who i hold close and dear.

Poetry	Self Inflicted Violence
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