Depression Tribe

I love my kids sometimes things get rough and hard for us but we have been doing well...newest would be in my blogs...I added photos to my profile, I thought about some of what everyone has been telling me, to find some positive to focus on and these people in my gallery and I am missing some but these I had and they are important to me!

Truth is I'm miserible.....I've thought about suicide....but something always stops me...I'm 39 this April, I have stepstones 5 boys 20, 19, 18, 15,11 and one 13 yr. old daughter, a sweetheart when she wants to be..lol,....have no job now was laid off 15th of December of 09' hate what my ex has done to us all mentially... i don't have to stress out myself about him anymore,....I have to become a strong woman for my future grandchildren.....thats my GOAL!! my sister died from brain cancer my father too, it has ben killing me about him slowily I have been opening up to make new friends and Fixing my broken fences and repair bridges. I'm here, if anyone would like to chit chat.

P.S. I have a great sence of humor, a huge heart, I can be very kind, forgiving, I know there are always two sides to a story and I am learning to hear them out before I take any action.


MY BIGGEST Problem, is focusing on the negitive instead of the positive, and when I hear myself doing it I want to stop change it but i dont I dont realize how, I live in New York, I have my kids my pets, and my boyfriend, we dont live together i wish we did but i think problems would get worse, so we do what we can to see each other things are diffiacult i wish my kids would listen to me some days can be hell, i come here on DT for rafuse from the world and myself I usually find someone here who is either going through the same or something way worse than me that i can hope to bring someone else up there are many people who have wished me well in my times of sadiness

Scrabble....Bowling...Driving..Shopping for others.....Cooking & Baking mostly when the kitchen is clean or I won't do it!....Fishing if I dont have to put everyone elses worms on, my own worms are ok but my kids just let the fish eat the worms....having a Ice Cream Cone on a Hot Day....Planting stuff.... being in love feeling the love back most of all...sitting in the morning sunshine...waking to a warm hug from a man

Rats, Snakes, most bugs, buttholes who speed down side streets in 30 mph kids zones, alot of stuff...........if i leave the strings on my tea bags in a travel cup and I drink and the 'rats tail ' i call it comes out....i am mortified yuck!

Most

Have lots Read Few...i use them when I want to look something up mostly reference self help kind of books they make me fell sleep

Funny ones Laugh my ass off, Action movies I prefer to be with a mate when I watch any movie, I prefer no Horror