Depression

I'm not competitive like most people are, I won't hurt people to get what I want. As such I rarely get what I want, and am seldom taken seriously.

Open minded, can be mega deep or really really not, whatever suits. I am told I am good to talk to but you have to bear with me, as sometimes I am AWOL for ages.

I am intelligent, caring and physically capable but I hate myself. I feel guilty all the time and am convinced that everybody hates me, after all if I'm half as bad as I feel I am, they would.

Tonight at noon
Supermarkets will advertise 3p extra on everything
Tonight at noon
Children from happy families will be sent to live in a home
Elephants will tell each other human jokes
America will declare peace on Russia
World War I generals will sell poppies on the street on November 11th
The first daffodils of autumn will appear
When the leaves fall upwards to the trees

Tonight at noon
Pigeons will hunt cats through city backyards
Hitler will tell us to fight on the beaches and on the landing fields
A tunnel full of water will be built under Liverpool
Pigs will be sighted flying in formation over Woolton
And Nelson will not only get his eye back but his arm as well
White Americans will demonstrate for equal rights
In front of the Black house
And the monster has just created Dr. Frankenstein

Girls in bikinis are moonbathing
Folksongs are being sung by real folk
Art galleries are closed to people over 21
Poets get their poems in the Top 20
There's jobs for everybody and nobody wants them
In back alleys everywhere teenage lovers are kissing in broad daylight
In forgotten graveyards everywhere the dead will quietly bury the living
and
You will tell me you love me
Tonight at noon




Adrian Henri

Being alone

All kinds way too much to mention.
In my car at the moment: - Nirvana - Unplugged in New York

Loads - Cloud Atlas by David mitchell
Thomas harris, Aldous Huxley

Anything that isn’t all soppy love scenes, watching that stuff physically hurts.
Cool hand luke, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Luckiest Nut in the World, way too many...

Outdoors (hiking, kayaking, fishing, camping etc), Learning, Diving (on the odd occasion I get chance), athletics (throws), snowboarding (see diving), writing, deeeeep thinking.

Self Inflicted Violence	Tears of Blood
Self Harm	Writing eases the pain