"Learning to be grateful while existing with illness"

JOB: Other
DRINK: Socially
RELIGION: Prefer not disclose
MEMBER SINCE: October 26, 2007
POINTS: [ 4000+ ]
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Florida, United States
AGE: 35
VIEWS: 8238
LAST LOGIN: 12.19.14

[ ADD ME ]

 photo 7da90a87_zpsf043a9b2.jpg

Dragonfly Fairy photo dragonflyfairy_zps5808dfca.jpg

 photo ec3a645e-ecaa-4217-8387-846264974432_zpsfcb835ad.jpg

 photo 14270771-5f3f-47f0-9a02-6ee0c34601a6_zps5ed3bce6.jpg

 photo normal_saya_violin_zpsf6d9a4af.jpg

I have Bipolar II disorder, as well as GAD, mixed personality disorder, and PTSD. This is what it all feels like...

 photo rainbowwithlightingbolt_zps0e966b5b.jpg

 photo 699d2b3e-ffb9-4ab2-befc-27a6f656acba_zpsd8dc30e5.jpg

 photo ColorSwirl_zpsa382d0dc.gif

 photo goddessstarswhitehorse_zps9881af14.jpg

I am a generally laid back person. I am bipolar and have problems with chronic depression. I am a survivor of incest and emotional abuse. I'm spending most of my time these days looking for who I am and how to love myself truly. Hoping to find a place I belong work~wise and enjoy. Trained professional violinist and music/elementary education teacher~ though I haven't taught public school as anything more than a substitue lately. :-D I believe I am caring, empathetic, loving and kind. I love deeply and trust until you give me reason not to, and then it takes forever for me to forgive. I have a lot of bouts of anger and sorrow over the past, but am learning through therapy how to let the past go. Right now my new therapist is starting to teach me the art of "Mindfulness" ~ which amounts to living in the now. It's starting to work already, and I'm really excited about it! I'm even doing it with my son, and seeing results with him too, when in the past he's been prone to a lot of negative thoughts and anger and depression.

I'm not one for labels really~ I doesn't matter to me what religion, if any, you follow. I don't judge people on their past or their illness or level of education, walk of life, or where you may be sexually. It doesn't matter. You are loved and beautiful no matter what!

 photo treewoman_zps70f3a617.jpg

 photo 5f24b3eb-fc85-4f24-909b-ae3da739294f_zps4849a0d6.jpg

 photo zz6_zps73ea7374.jpg


 photo DragonflyDreamcatcher_zpsaf1270fd.jpg

I'm a good listener and enjoy helping others through their hard times. It makes us both healthier people.

 photo moon77_zpsd9933eef.jpg

I believe that no matter what I feel at any given time, there is always beauty in life to find~ it's just a matter of making yourself look for it.


In loving memory of Bryancats...may we meet again someday my beautiful friend. Until then, I send my love. HUGS and Kisses always.

My awesome little guy! <3 <3 <3

 photo 2012-2013083_zps342b007e.jpg

I am a musician, so all types of music! I love the beach at night, full moons, stars- anything dealing with astronomy... I like quiet walks in the woods, reading in bed, rain, journaling and blogging, playing with my son, laughing so hard that my stomach hurts, playing violin and singing, hanging out with friends, playing pool, taking photos (very amateur though), nursing animals back to health, and this list goes on and on. One of my favorite things is fairies. I love the beauty they represent, and the tie to nature.I love my animals, waterfalls and nature in general. I enjoy helping other people.

 photo raining-1_zpsfa827a4f.gif

 photo forest_zpsda6f746b.jpg


 photo ccwhite-tiger-dreams-carol-cavalaris_zpsdc94884a.jpg

Being sick. Feeling lonely and despairing. Sorrow. Humid heat. Insomnia. The huge drop after a hypomanic episode into total chaos and self-hate. Not fond of being "labeled" to fit into someone else's need to categorize people.

We all need to accept and love one another for what we are ~ flaws and all!


Hands of Healing Pictures, Images and Photos

sad photo: sad sad-1_zpsce22ee2f.gif


 photo b75fd6cd-eee6-44de-824d-91ec01e0b90f_zpsade018b9.jpg

[This member only allows comments from his/her friends.]

January 4, 2016, 9:37 am
It looks as though you're not too active on this site anymore. I know I haven't been. Just checking in to wish you a Happy New Year, though. You deserve all good things, Keya. ~A.


Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. ~ Samuel Beckett

From: delane
August 20, 2015, 12:15 am
Here's wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!!!! ***Hugs***


The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

From: camino
June 18, 2015, 3:48 pm
Heya Beautiful! How's the "new" house - I realize it's been awhile, but I've been a very bad friend for a long time. I think I'm back within the world again though :)


definition of camino: path, road, journey, way

From: gomizzou
January 4, 2015, 2:35 am
Hi dear friend, how are you? Wishing you a very Happy and healthy New Year. :-) Todd


May we all find our way--God knows we've earned the right. 2. 'If you're going through Hell, keep on going.' --Winston Churchill

January 1, 2015, 5:04 pm
happy new year photo: Happy new year NYChampaign.gif best wishes tto you and those you love in the new year! love,muppet


 photo inkpotimage_zps4f627791.gifThe moving finger, having writ moves on. All your piety Nor wit cancel half a line Nor all yours Tears wash a word of it.Omar Khayyam

When dangling by a thread, this is the song that keeps me going...

I'm trying SO HARD to remember the good things to keep me going...

This song describes me perfectly...

 photo dc9b6c0b-2806-4c0b-8ff2-abeea013d556_zps90494948.jpg

 photo colorfulwave_zps2458422a.jpg

 photo BlueFrog_zps42df546d.jpg

Almost everything. You'd be suprised at how many different types I enjoy listening to or performing. :-)

 photo 525ddd88-6057-4f10-9088-89fc05068dcd_zpsf87afc7c.jpg

This is almost exactly the fairy I have on my back, but in mine there's a second rose with a baby (representing my son) and the fairy is reaching out to him to hold him. It was commemorative because we survived such a horrible pregnancy where we both could have easily died.

 photo ab867bbb-504f-46d2-a91e-ee3c23639cbc_zps2ee75719.jpg

I'm currently reading the Divergent Trilogy ~ and I LOVE it! I'm trying to wait for the 2nd book to come out in paperback edition, but I don't think I can wait that long! :-D

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.

~Langston Hughes

Inspirational reading from Wayne Dyer,
the philosopher Rumi,
Mother Theresa's quotes,
Buddha quotes,
Dalai Llama quotes (sorry, might have misspelled that!)
"Watership Down",
Stephanie Meyers' "The Host" and "Twilight Saga",
Barbara Kingsolver's "Prodigal Summer",
Anita Diamante's "The Red Tent",
Stephen King,
Dean Koontz,
"I Know This Much is True" and "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb,
"Juniper Tree Burning" (unsure of author),
"Violin" by Anne Rice and others she wrote,
"The Loop",
"Clan of the Cave Bear" series,
"Icy Sparks"
"Across The Mountains"

...and many classics.
I love fiction and enjoy some biographies, and books on getting in touch with my inner being. I'm also into learning about auras, eastern philosophies, and mediumship.

 photo c1e5c5f6-20f4-4f51-94bc-0959804bf2e2_zps7bc6721d.jpg

We're the Millers,
The Hunger Game Series,
The Secret of Nimh,
The Hangover,
What Dreams May Come,
Secondhand Lions,
Memoirs of a Geisha,
Silence of the Lambs,
Little Miss Sunshine,
The Last Unicorn,
The Dark Crystal,
Patch Adams,
Napolean Dynamite,
The Harry Potter Series,
Slums of Beverly Hills,
The Lost Boys,
Twilight Series (yes, I know...I'm too old for that, lol),
Bram Stoker's Dracula,
Legends of the Fall,
The Green Mile
Batman Begins Series
The Jungle Book
The Lion King
Ice Age
Monsters Inc.
Brokeback Mountain
We're The Millers

...anything that makes me think, laugh, is dramatic or surprises me.

This is my newest favorite short film ~ The Butterfly Dragon...

the last unicorn Pictures, Images and Photos


 photo IxchelBoulet_zpsc9465d4b.jpg

Hobbies: Combing the beach for seashells and shark's teeth, walking through the woods and hiking, caring for injured animals, journaling, blogging and writing friends, facebook positivity page, learning to be at peace with myself, loving my son and my husband, playing violin/viola, singing to favorite songs, meditation (beginner), naps and most recently exercise. I'm learning about becoming a Lightworker and the use of Crystals.



 photo DidntChange_zpsb50fa25c.jpg


 photo whitegoddess_zps3bd05169.jpg

 photo goddessBLANCA_zpsb361fcc4.jpg

I love the Phoenix~ because it represents being reborn from the ashes of it's past. It fits who I am in so many ways.


 photo untitled7_zpsea7770c0.jpg


 photo 942b5099-a132-4f5a-a656-c6622abab8e9_zpsf4ed308e.jpg

 photo depressed_zpsf477f85a.jpg

 photo goddess_zps693486b1.jpg

psychic test, psychic development and psychic readings

December 19, 2014, 5:39 am

December 14, 2014, 4:00 am
December 11, 2014, 2:38 am
November 27, 2014, 2:16 am
November 26, 2014, 2:57 am