"“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” - Mark Twain"

JOB: Other
DRINK: Socially
RELIGION: Prefer not disclose
MEMBER SINCE: October 26, 2007
POINTS: [ 4000+ ]
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Florida, United States
AGE: 33
VIEWS: 8137
LAST LOGIN: 07.06.14

[ ADD ME ]

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I have Bipolar II disorder, as well as GAD, mixed personality disorder, and PTSD. This is what it all feels like...

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I am a generally laid back person. I am bipolar and have problems with chronic depression. I am a survivor of incest and emotional abuse. I'm spending most of my time these days looking for who I am and how to love myself truly. Hoping to find a place I belong work~wise and enjoy. Trained professional violinist and music/elementary education teacher~ though I haven't taught public school as anything more than a substitue lately. :-D I believe I am caring, empathetic, loving and kind. I love deeply and trust until you give me reason not to, and then it takes forever for me to forgive. I have a lot of bouts of anger and sorrow over the past, but am learning through therapy how to let the past go. Right now my new therapist is starting to teach me the art of "Mindfulness" ~ which amounts to living in the now. It's starting to work already, and I'm really excited about it! I'm even doing it with my son, and seeing results with him too, when in the past he's been prone to a lot of negative thoughts and anger and depression.

I'm not one for labels really~ I doesn't matter to me what religion, if any, you follow. I don't judge people on their past or their illness or level of education, walk of life, or where you may be sexually. It doesn't matter. You are loved and beautiful no matter what!

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I'm a good listener and enjoy helping others through their hard times. It makes us both healthier people.

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I believe that no matter what I feel at any given time, there is always beauty in life to find~ it's just a matter of making yourself look for it.


In loving memory of Bryancats...may we meet again someday my beautiful friend. Until then, I send my love. HUGS and Kisses always.

My awesome little guy! <3 <3 <3

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I am a musician, so all types of music! I love the beach at night, full moons, stars- anything dealing with astronomy... I like quiet walks in the woods, reading in bed, rain, journaling and blogging, playing with my son, laughing so hard that my stomach hurts, playing violin and singing, hanging out with friends, playing pool, taking photos (very amateur though), nursing animals back to health, and this list goes on and on. One of my favorite things is fairies. I love the beauty they represent, and the tie to nature.I love my animals, waterfalls and nature in general. I enjoy helping other people.

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Being sick. Feeling lonely and despairing. Sorrow. Humid heat. Insomnia. The huge drop after a hypomanic episode into total chaos and self-hate. Not fond of being "labeled" to fit into someone else's need to categorize people.

We all need to accept and love one another for what we are ~ flaws and all!


Hands of Healing Pictures, Images and Photos

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[This member only allows comments from his/her friends.]

From: MNcamper
July 4, 2014, 2:34 pm

'Depression is also a form of fear, and at its deepest, it is also paralytic. It is as useless to ask a person immobilized by depression to summon the power of will as it is to bug a dance of a corpse.' Paul Gruchow, 'Letters to a Young Madman: A Memoir'

June 21, 2014, 10:57 am
Hello Key! It's been a while. I'm sorry to hear you were doing poorly but glad to hear you're feeling better. How's your family? Things are the best they have been over here on my end. Hope to catch up soon <3 -t


Where I go I just don't know, I got to gotta take slow, when I find my piece of mind, I'm gonna give you some of my good time

June 14, 2014, 7:28 pm
leaving some love on your page


I shall fight in a compassionate nonjudgemental manor i chose. to live in the transmutative medicine transform and transmute the pain be all you can be to thyn own self be true......nothing changes if nothing changes things need to shift ... the rest will fall into place. miss me,, with personal assasination not into it our moccosins our ours not others judge me or others here in a way out neg way and keep on walken right on by me i will nod my head to accknowledge your exsistance me no resentments no resistance unless you try and box me in or tie me down not into that crap love all like some behaviors towards ourselfs must turn into nurturing self compassion live and let live be you say something nice to some one its not that friggen difficult yes i am me= zephyer

From: Napy666
June 14, 2014, 3:50 pm
Hiya, long time no talk haha! I have been really busy than usual lately. This past week went in for 2 job interviews still no word back, posted new band interviews and reviews on my site, went to a concert, and out to the mall, and so much more! How are things with you?



From: Andie372
June 6, 2014, 2:18 pm
I'm glad if my words helped you in some way. Thanks for asking, I'm doing well. Taking a summer math class. Keith and I are going to the beach next weekend, looking forward to that. My daughter is working and going to school also. Keith just had heart surgery (non invasive kind) and is doing well. I don't see my son but usually once a week. He's like me, and keeps his emotions close to the chest. I love any time I get to spend with my granddaughter! She is brilliant and beautiful.


I a bound upon a wheel of fire and my tears burn hot like molten lead

When dangling by a thread, this is the song that keeps me going...

I'm trying SO HARD to remember the good things to keep me going...

This song describes me perfectly...

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Almost everything. You'd be suprised at how many different types I enjoy listening to or performing. :-)

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This is almost exactly the fairy I have on my back, but in mine there's a second rose with a baby (representing my son) and the fairy is reaching out to him to hold him. It was commemorative because we survived such a horrible pregnancy where we both could have easily died.

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I'm currently reading the Divergent Trilogy ~ and I LOVE it! I'm trying to wait for the 2nd book to come out in paperback edition, but I don't think I can wait that long! :-D

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.

~Langston Hughes

Inspirational reading from Wayne Dyer,
the philosopher Rumi,
Mother Theresa's quotes,
Buddha quotes,
Dalai Llama quotes (sorry, might have misspelled that!)
"Watership Down",
Stephanie Meyers' "The Host" and "Twilight Saga",
Barbara Kingsolver's "Prodigal Summer",
Anita Diamante's "The Red Tent",
Stephen King,
Dean Koontz,
"I Know This Much is True" and "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb,
"Juniper Tree Burning" (unsure of author),
"Violin" by Anne Rice and others she wrote,
"The Loop",
"Clan of the Cave Bear" series,
"Icy Sparks"
"Across The Mountains"

...and many classics.
I love fiction and enjoy some biographies, and books on getting in touch with my inner being. I'm also into learning about auras, eastern philosophies, and mediumship.

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We're the Millers,
The Hunger Game Series,
The Secret of Nimh,
The Hangover,
What Dreams May Come,
Secondhand Lions,
Memoirs of a Geisha,
Silence of the Lambs,
Little Miss Sunshine,
The Last Unicorn,
The Dark Crystal,
Patch Adams,
Napolean Dynamite,
The Harry Potter Series,
Slums of Beverly Hills,
The Lost Boys,
Twilight Series (yes, I know...I'm too old for that, lol),
Bram Stoker's Dracula,
Legends of the Fall,
The Green Mile
Batman Begins Series
The Jungle Book
The Lion King
Ice Age
Monsters Inc.
Brokeback Mountain
We're The Millers

...anything that makes me think, laugh, is dramatic or surprises me.

This is my newest favorite short film ~ The Butterfly Dragon...

the last unicorn Pictures, Images and Photos


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Hobbies: Combing the beach for seashells and shark's teeth, walking through the woods and hiking, caring for injured animals, journaling, blogging and writing friends, facebook positivity page, learning to be at peace with myself, loving my son and my husband, playing violin/viola, singing to favorite songs, meditation (beginner), naps and most recently exercise. I'm learning about becoming a Lightworker and the use of Crystals.



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I love the Phoenix~ because it represents being reborn from the ashes of it's past. It fits who I am in so many ways.


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June 4, 2014, 10:47 am

May 28, 2014, 3:46 am
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April 25, 2014, 3:48 pm
April 22, 2014, 2:40 pm