God, I hate myself so much today. hatehatehatehate.
I want to cut up my arm. I've been doing scratches, bruises and welts, but I haven't actually grabbed my blade and cut. So I don't know if I'm still allowed to say I haven't self injured in 3 years, just because I haven't cut.
I'm such a useless pile of shit. I hate myself.
It feels like it's only a matter of time now.
