Another rainy day and still feeling blank - turning my emotions off is hard work but it seems to be working.
Had a bizarre dream last night was so very real it made me cry. I was at my Nana's house and we were having a family get together and my grandad was there, He's been dead now nearly 6 years and i could see him feel him and touch him. But no one else could. He came over to me and tickled me and I laughed so hard. Then he looked into my eyes smiled at me and told me everything was going to be ok -I cried and he wiped the tear away from my eye with his finger. He was just about to tell me something very important when something woke me up with a start.
I wonder if he had come to me to tell me that he forgave me for not seeing him before he died. I've never had a dream like that before and I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and continue it but when i went back to sleep he was gone.
The only man in my life I knew would always tell me what he thought and tell me the truth.
Grandad i need you back so badly.
