I don't know what to say. All the happiness in my life has seemed to disappear in the space of a whole day. The man I love and I broke up today...it hurts me so much. I thought we would be ok after our last fight, but he said he was afraid he couldn't devote the time I needed to me. He said we would do better apart, so we could focus on ourselves. No matter how hard I begged I couldn't make him stay with me. My heart feels like it's turning to stone and eroding away. My days look bleak without him. He was my sunshine, my smile, my entire being. He told me to be strong, but I don't know how. I know I must be. He said we didn't have to be apart forever, but I don't want to be apart at all. I was going to change, I was going to get a job and try to get into a four year college and be more active, but it wasn't enough. My love wasn't enough. In the end, I lost him. It will take everything I have to not hurt myself, just as it will take everything I have to go on, to live my life like he wants me to. I wanted to live my life with him. I thought we both could be happy with each other and doing what we love. But it wasn't enough. Right now I wish, I pray, we will call and tell me he was wrong and that he was sorry and that he wants me back. In my heart I know this won't happen, but I wish it would. I wish I could rewind the last few weeks and start over again. I wish I could still hold him and kiss him and sing to him and sleep next to him. Now all that I loved is gone. All that I cherished has been taken away from me. I know I can't be angry; this is what he wants. If this is what it will take for him to happy, then I will bear it. I would bear all of hell for him. For now, I must struggle on alone and heartbroken. For now...
