I really hate myself, and I really would prefer to die. People have accidents every day. Why can't I? Maybe I'm just a coward. I've tried so many times, usually throug overdose, but never do because I take jst enough to where you could flip a coin whether I'll make it. And I still do. Why don't I make sure I take a lethal dose? Why can't I even do that right? I truly feel; that I am the scurge of humanity sometimes. I should be unwanted. Maybe that's what I want. Everyone thinks I'm so perfect and most want to be with me, but I won't give anything a chanvce. I really want to end it. I'm not a person to know. I'm unforgiven, unrepentive, and there isn't any redemption no matter how hard I try. I sant to be at peace............No matter what happens I love you all and really do know what you go through.