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Hopefaithstrength
"let problems in life defeat u or let the creator of life defeat ur problems"
My URL: http://www.depressiontribe.com/hopefaithstrength




I've been there and i still don't know....

Mood: Frustrated
Date: Aug. 19, 2008
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i have experienced the hopelessness and the anxiety of depression. i have locked my self away from social gatherings, family and friends because of no interest for life. I know exactly how it feels to assume life is never going to get better. AND now i have a very close friend experiencing this and i feel like i don't know what to do for him.

he has told me he is depressed, has no interest in anything he used to do, has lost significant weight and is now refusing to talk to anyone.

I call him and he doesnt answer. this concerns me. he doesnt return calls this, i take personally and i know im wrong to feel so. everyone says leave him alone he'll call when he is ready and i can't. ive only been able to go one day of not calling and the worries overwhelm me and i call. of course he doesnt answer and i get hurt.

I love this man and i feel like I'm turning my back on him just because the reality is he needs his space. but i cant help but want to encourage him and show support.....

So how can i do this if im told to leave him alone? Some one please give me insight because i understand where he is emotionally but i had one friend that did the same...stuck by even when i wished she would just go away and i dont know where id be if she had just let me be and waited for me to call her.

He is a great man going through a difficult time.....I love him and I dont want to loose him.
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VIEWING 1 - 4 OUT OF 4 COMMENTS

From: hopefaithstrength
August 20, 2008, 7:11 pm

i have sent the card to my friend. it gave me the opportunity to tell him how great he is and that i believe in him. And of course to tell him i love him.

I never considered that the phone calls would be to pushy.  i thought he would at least know i was thinking of him.  i didnt think that he might feel worse because he cant emotionally live up to the exectation of "trying to be active or being around people" just to meet my own need.  seeing him active and trying to live a daily life with routine would make me feel better.....but would he really feel better....probably not.

we dont consider our actions when we are at our worst. we can barely understand our own emotions let alone the emotions of others. when it feels like you have to hold on tight just to get through, relax and let go because nothing is holding us back or keeping us from moving forward to healthier happier lives.
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From: lucydiane
August 20, 2008, 7:46 am

Something that has helped me is that a friend sent me a card and just reminded me that I could call her and talk about anything.  That helped without being too pushy.  Sometimes phone calls are just too much. 

 
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From: FortyFour
August 20, 2008, 12:40 am

I had a friend who was very depressed. Sometimes the depressed person experiences the helper as pressurising. That is partly why they reject people when they are depressed.  And they only feel ok with people who can just let them be. They experience the encouragement as pressure so it makes them feel worse because they can't do what you want them to do.

Lately with my depression,  I was grateful to have people around but  especially grateful that no one was worrying about me, or asking about me. I was doing almost nothing but sleeping and watching tele and sitting on the computer  while they were all working all around me, and I was amazed that no one made me feel bad. 
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From: LindaM
August 19, 2008, 11:37 pm

Thanks for your post. Things have been difficult for me for awhile and nobody knows just how tempting it is for me to swallow the entire bottle of pain killers right beside my bed. But you're right, I would be putting a lot of other people I care about through hell. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I think it's fair to say that you have given me something to consider.
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