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Jenieve79
"WHAT DOES POSITIVE MEAN ?"
My URL: http://www.depressiontribe.com/jenieve79





Mood: Lonely
Date: Jan. 17, 2009
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Its so pathetic that i get excited over a email. Its like the only communication i have. I have no one to talk to. So when i get a silly comment or stupid chain letter. I get exctied. I tried looking for penpals cause i am that desperate for friends. Think to myself wow you have sunk to a new low. I talk to my family everyday but its not the same cause if i want to complain about that person of course i cant complain to them. My poor mom has to listen to me all the time. cause she is the only person i have. Well there is the dogs but i dont think talking them would be a good idea cause then they will think i am more than just crazy. done the dating sites too that is just worthless cause when i fill out that about me part i cant think of anything good to say about myself so that is pointless. Not to mention that being crazy is not on the list of wants for the opposite sex. I actually got out of the house today and i was ok for little while but then i started feeling like everyone was looking at me and thinking something totally outrageous. so i started panicking and i needed to go home. At least i got out

One thing i will say is i went and watched my son play basketball today I was happy for that one hour. cause my son put all his effort into playing i was so proud of him. Not to mention he was incredilbe !!!   He is going to be my little jock. plays every sport and is god at everyone not sure where he gets it from cause its not me but i know that he puts all his effort into getting it right and being perfect at it. And i know that is not a good thing but i think for right now its ok.






VIEWING 1 - 2 OUT OF 2 COMMENTS

From: redlady
January 17, 2009, 5:04 pm

i can relate to alot of what you put and sometimes i feel desparate to meet new people -  i also talk to mum alot and share my thoughts - but not my darkest thoughts as dont want to worry her i have a supportive family but only 1 true friend - my other so called friends contact me now and again - like once in a blue moon. i am glad you got out = i went out today for about an hour to the park with my son and we played there for a while and was just pleased that he is happy even if i arent he has got a lovely personality and is very loving - i am blessed in that way

i really begin to panic before i go out as think everyone knows that i have head problems - but imagine if you get to meet new people who didnt have head problems and you started sharing your dark thoughts mmm not sure how that would go ! your son sounds like a wonderful person if you ever want to talk or just natter away about anyhing - no matter how big or small please do also have you thought about joining a group in your local area? i am going to look into it take care



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January 17, 2009, 4:59 pm

I am sorry you feel lonely.  But I see some positive things in your blog.  The fact that you got out, in spite of the challenge, is something you should be very proud of.  Baby steps, right?  And taking pride in your son, well, there is not much that compares to the pride we can feel in our children. 

Hugs and prayers, Patty



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