Samii
"everything will be ok in the end, if its not ok its not the end yet"
My URL: http://www.depressiontribe.com/samii
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this shouldnt be so hard....
| Mood: | Anxious |
| Date: | May. 28, 2008 |
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im a bit all over the place. my parents go away tomorrow, early morning so ive just said goodbye to thm for 2 and a half weeks - this really should not have be such a big deal! i mean, i spent a year away from them a few years back so this should be a doddle. but it really doesnt feel like it. ive been negative recently had black thoughts. my mind isnt stupid. it is easy to realize that an empty house (my brother will be at work most of the time) would be the best time for me to commit suicide. ive even thought of a date. friday the 13th. perfect. this is not something i WANT to do though. i mean i think of it enough but my life ending now would not be good. i could get better... i could get a job, a girlfriend, start spending quality time with my mates again and stop drinking my evenings away. those are the things i WANT. not death. i just dont feel strong at the moment, so its suicide that occupies my mind.
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