you know if i had killed myself back in high school the way i wanted to instead of listening to all the counselors and other idiots who kept telling me life was worth living i wouldnt be going thru all this crap now...i wouldnt have gotten married and spent 13 years with someone who didnt care whether i came home or not and who made me feel more alone when i was with her...i wouldnt have worked my ass off for jobs that didnt give a rats ass about how hard i tried for them....i wouldnt have had to feel like a loser all these years...i wouldnt have had to deal with all the hopes that meant so much to me and just ended up being broken at my feet while i watched....i wouldnt have worried what to say to my kids or how to make it easier for them when i put that bullet in my head....i wouldnt have had to feel so hopeless...so lost...that no matter what anyone tells me...no matter how bright a picture they paint...i realize it really isnt going to get any better...its never going to work out...and the proof of my worthlessness is the fact ive held on this long when all the evidence proved otherwise....i'm so f@cking stupid....
You know what, you mean the world to me. I don't want to lose you as a friend. I found some one that understands me. Though the laugher and the tears you are still my friend. True Friends are hard to find.
A broken heart is a hard thing to mend and only time will help. Each day put you feet on the floor and take a deep breath. Every thing will start to work out, you just got to have faith. When the day is done and you put your head on your pillow. Say to your self " Today might have suck, but I made it.' One more day that you have face head on.
Love will come around, don't look for love let love find you. I hate to say this but it might be the state you live in that is keeping you from finding love. Can't go hunting for rabbit, if all the rabbits are gone. Take Care and keep reading your e-mails
thumpper your not stupid, it's the disease talking. don't say i don't know what i'm talking about. have been there done that.
how old are your kids? old enough to get a divorce or just seperate.?
how long have you worked at your job?
are youon medication?is it working?
i know i'm being nosey but i care. for someone who hates his life right now. and can't put two cents worth to figure this out. i wish i knew the answer all i can think of is a visit to your doc and therapist...
zarinna
OFFLINE
three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for
