I consider myself seeking answers ...answers to depression, answers to why I'm here, answers to the purpose of life....my life anyhow
I lived in Florida for 12 years , had a job I loved , a person that I considered to be my best friend and lover, a good life..without going into the details..I lost it all. I moved back to Louisiana where my family resides almost two years ago .I have not been able to find a job in my profession and it appears I can't pull myself out of the depression I've been in since I lived in Florida.
I'm working on it...I believe I have cycled in and out of depression all my life without really understanding what it was...I was treated for Anorexia as a young adult and still have those thoughts if I allow myself to become overweight.
I've never had a depression that appeared as if it would never end as this does..Sometimes I feel it's because I lost so much in such a short time...and now that I'm older I feel I don't have the time to recover and have what I had before...especially the self esteem, confidence,and most important.. love...which is like air to my life...I feel so empty...I know self love is the most important thing but I'm such a die hard romantic the thought of not being 'in love' again is devastating to me.I love my family very much...but it's not the same as 'in love' as feeling part of a whole.Probably silliness...but who I am. I don't think I'll be changing that part of me at this stage of my life. I truly beleive we are meant to be partnered...but..well..that's how I believe.
Daniel Powter-Bad Day
LIKES
Well...honestly..for the last two years I really have a hard time "liking' anything.I'm constantly working to change my thoughts of failing.
Waiting for change.....feeling I should be able to make it happen...but, somehow my thoughts keep getting in the way..but..insisting I'll not give up...never give in.
I love the the sound of rain falling on a tin roof, and the peaceful sound of waves breaking on a white sandy shore.The sound my paddle made as I paddled down a quite stream in my Kayak.To be in the breeze blowing through the tall majestic redwoods on a quite mountain top, with only the sounds of nature touching my ears, are one of the very few things left in this world that can make me really remember happy. Nature I trust....people and myself...well...I'm working on it
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DISLIKES
I dislike me at this time..surprize! I dislike those who find fault in others who are trying to express themselves honestly....the best they can.I dislike cruelty in all it's forms.
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Jewel,Enya,Dido,Sass Jordan,Evanesence,David Cook,& KT Turnstall...
I SO RELATE TO THIS SONG..'Q' by Michael Johns , my favorite Aussie.
BOOKS
Many Lives, Many Masters- by Brian L. Weiss, MD is my favorite all time book.I've read all Wayne W Dyer books.Almost anything by Dean Koontz or Stephen King. I'm fairly eclectic in my genre of books but Self Help,Spiritual,Sci-Fi and Horror are my favorites.
MOVIES
Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Somewhere in Time,Life as a House, Fried Green Tomatoes, Juno... and most all Sci-Fi.
Into the West
HOBBIES
When I'm not depressed 99% of the time I really enjoy writing poetry ...and sometimes even when I am depressed,inline skating,sailing, working, movies, intelligent conversation, traveling.
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