Depression

I have spent my life in vain, trying to be something that maybe I never could be. I have spent my life in the belief that if I could just love someone enough, be there enough or be the person that someone needed, then someone would return my love. Now, in the last part of my life, I have lost everyone that meant anything to me. I am lost between guilt, rage and saddness. It is a grieving process that seems to have no end. I have buried one child and the remaining 3 will not even speak to me. I have not heard from my sister, my only living family member in over 30 years and this silence was at her behest. It seems I was destined to be alone from the day I was born, just too damn stubborn to believe it, so I spent my whole life trying to stave off the inevitable. And now, here it is anyway..... Which is more important.............that I am alive and loney (and paying for my mistakes) or ...................

I no longer feel likes, or interest. This is the part of me that was lost when my world finally fell apart. What I am seraching for is to see if there is anything left in this world that I can find enjoyment in

i think there are three movies that explain everying about life:
1. To Kill A MockingBird
2. The Big Chill
3. Crash