i
know
my
depression
has
gotten
really
bad
when
even
people
who
would
listen
to
me
when
i
was
really
down
avoid
me
like
death...they
pretend
they
dont
see
my
text
message
or
hear
my
phone
call...i cant
blame
them...if
i
dont
like
myself
how
is
wow...this
is
like
the
old
days...unable
to
sleep...being
up
till
5am
and
feeling
like
the
only
person
on
earth...trying
to
do
the
mental
math
in
your
head
of
how
many
people
would
actually
give
a sh*t
when
you
throw
the
rope
over
the
its
so
much...too
much
to
deal
with....i
keep
trying
to
tell
myself
i'm
not
a
piece
of
sh*t...that
i
matter...that
i'm
not
a
loser...that
someone
someday
will
see
the
value
in
me
and
maybe even
see
me
as
special....but
then
that
voice